People enter our lives and remain for the amount of time we need them to be there. Once they make their exit, their purpose for us has ended. I know it sounds crazy, maybe you were in love with him/her and you never wanted it to end ... BUT now it’s over … and OK you might be sad…FOR NOW… BUT you will get over them, I PROMISE (they say if Jennifer can get over Brad then you to shall overcome)!! Without pain there would be no growth. Maybe you grew really close with someone, could be for YEARS, could’ve been for a season and then all of a sudden you drift apart, you have outgrown them, and at this point it’s time to say lesson learned and move onto your next destination.
People enter our lives at the very moment we need them. We don’t always see it at the time, just as we don’t understand their seemingly untimely exit, but eventually it all makes sense. Whether you realize it or not everyone in our lives has taught us something. Oddly enough my first ever boyfriend reached out to me about 12 years after we broke up and he said he HAD to hurt me, that it was something we both NEEDED to go through and experience (of course at this time in my head I wanted to punch him in his…and if you are wondering he did also apologize) BUT even the wrong doer in situations have things to learn and/or gain from their less than acceptable actions.
The lessons or realization may not come right away, and if we don’t learn our lesson the first time they say we keep attracting that like until we do. Once you have learned and accepted that growth that this experience and/or person had to teach you, you are one step closer to being your best self.
Growth can be uncomfortable, the unknown, the things we are unsure of often cause this feeling. But that’s ok. The more we accept these feelings for what they are, we can dig deeper and ask more questions, uncover more about not only ourselves but the situation. Psychologists say that when we acknowledge and accept our feelings, that THAT is how we learn to deal with or cope with stress, these said feelings and situations in the future. Going back to reoccurring situations until we have learned our lesson…guess what?! It even applies here, the more we dismiss such unhappy feelings the more we set ourselves up to experience them.
May is National Mental Health Month – in the spirit of this I would like to share the RAIN theory to help you deal with undesirable or misunderstood feelings.
Recognize – notice the feeling – do not dismiss it
Allow yourself to feel this feeling & Accept it, don’t fight it
Investigate – ask yourself WHY you are feeling the way you do; it could be a combination of things and not just the said thing (or person) you are getting upset with.
Non-identification – separate yourself from the feeling
Journaling is a great way to put the RAIN theory into action, or maybe you have a confidant to discuss these things with, either way if we don’t accept and understand, we will never learn our lesson. Your emotions are a doorway into deeper learning and growth, for you and those around you.